Okay, this one may take some explaining. It’s possible these things have gone global and everyone already knows what they are, but rather than research demographic data for ornamental polyethylene bull testicles, I’ll just assume you don’t know and post some pictures:
I first heard about these bumper ball sacks a couple of years ago, but to be honest, I rarely ever see a pair. And I’ve been looking. Whenever I’m on the road I scan the undercarriages of every large vehicle I see in hopes of sneaking a peek. Makes me feel like a perv, sure, but I can't help it.
I’ve only seen maybe three endowed trucks in the last two years, but the truck nuts must be out there somewhere, because here in Florida, State Senator Carey Baker is trying to ban them. I know, I know. Nothing is sacred anymore. Our liberties are being stripped from us one set of fake family jewels suspended from a trailer hitch at a time.
By the way, here’s my favorite paragraph from that article:
Baker made clear his proposal would not affect the decal that shows a "little boy doing bad things to other vehicles. That's not my issue. My bill refers to a reproduction of reproductive glands. So, if it doesn't show the glands, it isn't covered. And the little boy decals don't show the glands."
Clearly the Calvin-pissing-on-(insert-your-nemesis-here)-sticker lobby got to him first. Ruthless bastards.
Baker’s ball banning measure made it through the Florida Senate last week. I have no idea if it has passed, is in the process of passing, or will pass in the House. I doubt it though.
Blatant First Amendment issues aside, there is at least one other aspect that Senator Baker has failed to consider: