Starting a new segment today called Show and Tell Tuesday. It probably won’t be every week, or even on Tuesdays, and we may do other things besides showing and telling. But anyway, this is where everyone gets to share something embarrassing about themselves, or, if you’re shy, about one of your “friends.” Or, for the writers, your “characters.” It doesn't have to be elaborate, just humiliating.
Today’s topic is Personal Neuroses. Here’s mine:
Sometimes when I’m standing in line at 7-11, or pumping gas, or walking through a parking lot minding my own business, I’ll glance up and notice a guy dressed in a dark suit and dark sunglasses looking right at me. It’s never the same guy. But I always immediately think: Shit. There’s a secret agent. The fuck did I do? Should I run for it? Or just play it cool?
Then it occurs to me that maybe he's not surveilling me at all. Maybe he thinks he knows me from somewhere, and any minute now he’s gonna walk over and say something like, “It’s Hopkins, right? Remember me? Samuelson.
And then I think: Wait a minute. I'm wearing a dark suit too. And dark glasses. And I'm looking right at him. What if he's just a regular guy, and I'm giving him some paranoid delusional complex? But he must've done something if he gets worked up that easy. Maybe I should follow him and find out what he's up to.