Tuesday, August 4, 2009

This Lady's Been Snorting Squalene Adjuvant




The preceding entertainment service was brought to you by GlaxoSmithKline, makers of SwineAway, the experimental innovative and untested potentially life saving H1N1 flu vaccine. Always consult your doctor listen to your highly competent government official prior to being forcibly injected beginning any new health program. As with any weapons-grade death cocktail new treatment, there may be side effects directly linked to associated with SwineAway. Possible side effects may include spontaneous acute dehydration dry mouth, massive retinal hemorrhaging blurred vision, sudden coma from acute bilateral internal carotid artery territory infarction drowsiness, H1N1 influenza flu-like symptoms, and death incongruous continued existence. Should you experience any of these symptoms after vaccination, immediately contact your doctor and attorney place your supraorbital foramen between your medial intercondylar tubercles and pucker up 'cause we got legal immunity biotch!

18 comments:

Sarah Laurenson said...

blah, blah, blah, bird, blah, blah, pig, blah, blah...

Love the fine print!

Robin S. said...

Hey- I can't find the fine print you musta found on GSK and this org. How did you suss it out?

I went to the website and read about the founding, and it's an odd partnership- founded as it was by parents whose children had been injured or had died as a resulyt of vaccinations. I really want to know more about this.

When the Blondster had a monster case of flu this Feb - first time ever, for either daughter - they gave me a prescription (at the ER) for Tamiful- when I asked what help that would bring, I was told it would shorten the flu symptoms as she healed, by approx. one day. I decided against filling that prescription, especially after reading the list of things that could go wrong.

That said - in Britain late this winter/early spring, there was a huge nationwide outbreak of mumps - and my older daughter, who's in college there - and who had been vaccinated here - caught their strain. Apparently many kids her age in Britain haven't been vaccinated at all against many diseases, as there was a backlash against vaccinations due to concern about the alarming rise of autism nationally.

I'm on the fence about this issue. I remember my parents talking about all the people they'd known, growing up, who were crippled or killed after contracting polio - and then Jonas Salk solves that problem, and we took the medication in a sugar cube. it felt like a miracle, having seen black and white photos of people in iron lungs, in the 1930s and 1940s, in history books.

I'm for immunization, but I'm against sales pitches and hurry jobs, all in the name of profit - funny as that is, me being a capitalist and all...

Sarah Laurenson said...

Hm, yeah, that polio thing. If we were getting Salk's vaccine, that would be a different story, but no, we get Sabine's. They decided to risk giving people polio and going with Sabine's weak virus vaccine rather than Salk's dead virus vaccine because they didn't know how long the immunity from Salk's would last.

So instead of guaranteeing no one would contract polio from the vaccine and giving it to us regularly, they went with a small percentage getting polio from the vaccine and giving it to us once or twice.

For some odd reason, I have a problem with that. And it's far too late for me to put my foot down and say I won't do it.

I wonder what's going to be the story behind the story on this one.

blogless troll said...

How did you suss it out?

I watch a lot of commercials.

I don't have a problem with vaccines in general, but flu shots have always been ridiculous to me because there are hundreds of strains going around every year and the shots only have a few of them. Combine that with the fact that the media has been trying to scare the bejesus out of everyone with this shit since at least 2002--not just with swine flu; there was bird flu, superflu, deadly strains of superflu, etc. Plus, WHO changed they way they define a pandemic which puts less emphasis on the mortality part of the disease, and only a few hundred people have died from swine flu, AND they stopped counting swine flu infections and deaths because flu tests are unreliable and time consuming (they're just going to assume it's swine flu proceed accordingly). AND this vaccine's being rushed to market. AND Congress gave these assholes immunity from being sued if their concoction harms people because of what happened in the late 70s with that swine flu outbreak? That's just too much, man.

Robin S. said...

Sarah, I didn't know we were given the weaker virus thing instead of the dead one with polio. SHIT!

Can we insist on the dead one? Because I've been thinking about updating our immunizations.

And I see what you mean, BT. Hadn't thought about the flu vs. polio or rubella, for instance. I've never taken a flue shot - JB always does, but I think it's a waste of time. Blondster probably has more (or at least as much) immunity now, from having HAD a big bout of flu, as she would from a 'shot cocktail'.

And I think someone I know sent me something recently to remind me that washing your hands and being careful is as important as anything when battling back the flu, colds, etc.

sylvia said...

It has flu like symptoms.
People of poor health are more susceptible.
Some people have died from it.

IT'S FLU! In fact, it has comparatively few deaths compared to other strains of flu. Hundreds of thousands of people die every year and they are talking about 45 people. I'm sorry for those 45 people but for gods sake.

*mutter*

I just don't see what makes this flu special. It seems such a tempest in a teacup...

Scott from Oregon said...

What about anal explosions?

They never seem to mention those.

GlaxoSmithKline said...

Anal explosions are an urban myth, and we strenuously deny the existence of same with respect to our products.

chris eldin said...

When we were in Dubai and the swine flu was just catching air time, I went to the pharmacy and bought two boxes of tamiflu (you don't need prescriptions for medications over there). I bought the boxes for my kids, just in case. But I felt embarrassed to buy four boxes. Two days later I went back to buy two more, and all the pharmacies were sold out. There was a run on them. And with no regulation, I guess one person could've bought them all...

Anyway, I agree with you about the vaccine. I've only had one flu shot, and one for my kids a few years ago. But I don't know whats in the vaccines, and all the stuff surrounding autism.

I'll have to come back and watch the Youtube because Thing 1 did something with the volume setting and I can't hear it.

Robin S. said...

I agree with the muttering Sylvia, which means I agree with the hollering BT, doesn't it?!

Bottom line - this 'scare' is making people big fucking bucks.

pacatrue said...

Just for the record, they've done a whole bunch of studies looking for a connection between the immunizations and autism and no connection has ever been found.

I think people think there's a connection between the two for the same reason people think shaving makes your hair grow back thicker. The major symptoms of autism start showing around the time of your middle to later immunization, so it looks bad. Similarly, there's no connection between that first shave and thicker hair. It's just that people always do that first shave some time around puberty which is when your hair becomes thicker due to hormones, not shaving.

It's correlation, not causation. (And I don't think the correlation is even that high for the MMR / autism thing.)

Robin S. said...

I see what you mean, paca, about the lack of correlation re for example the MMR and autism. I'm just not sure about many things now - for the reasons BT has pointed out.

The rush-to-market and the, for instance, decision Sarah pointed out - to give us live polio in a vaccine insteada dead polio virus in a vaccine - all of these things
lend credence to a certain uneasiness. That said, my kids had all of their immunizations; my greater worry was that without them, they'd be more vulnerable to disease.

blogless troll said...

I don't know anything about vaccinations causing autism, and I'm not suggesting that. When our oldest two were younger their doctor had us wait for some of the vaccinations because there was concern about the effects of the preservatives being used. So they waited and got them later on.

My point is, flu shots and vaccines for the "standard" diseases are not equal. It's like this, say you're allergic to the color red. All shades of red from the lightest shade to the darkest. And someone wants to give you a shot to immunize you against your red affliction. And you say (as they're injecting you), "So this will keep me safe from the color red?" And they say, "Welllll... it'll definitely keep you safe from hot pink. And probably vermilion. But that's about it." That's a best case scenario for flu shots.

Second, it's the untested stuff being added to the flu shots to make them more potent that worries me. Here's another article that gives a pretty good overview.

Now think of all the things that have been rushed through Congress during the last 8 or 9 years using fear as the primary justification. It's one thing to have the government monitor library activity, or make me take my shoes off at the airport, or channel billions of bailout dollars to those who should be under investigation. But now we're talking about shit being injected into me and my family that's been rushed through in the name of fear? Forget sinister plots or corporate greed. I'm worried about plain old incompetence and unintended consequences. Those are much more common and probable.

Robin S. said...

All points I agree with, BT.

pjd said...

She's reasonably good looking, and therefore I believe her. Or I would, if I bothered to listen to the actual words.

(If that doesn't prove I'm a true patriotic American, then I don't know what will.)

blogless troll said...

Admit it, Pete. You're just a snob.

pjd said...

I prefer the term elitist.

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