It's Official: Fast Food Crisis In Florida

You may remember (or not) last August when I brought to your attention an incident involving a Jacksonville man who called 911 to report that Subway screwed up his order.

Turns out this wasn't an isolated incident. We didn't know it at the time, but we were witnessing the beginnings of a full blown crisis here in the Sunshine State: idiots working at fast food restaurants.

Now they've infiltrated Burger King AND McDonald's.

You can tell by the 911 operator's response that local law enforcement simply doesn't have the resources to properly deal with this crisis. If left unchecked this crisis could spread, and potentially endanger other businesses, like, I don't know, Fazoli's or something.

The solution is simple: we need an additional influx of Federal dollars. Unfortunately, our governor has already pissed away the stimulus package money that we haven't received yet by using it to balance this year's and next year's State budget, thereby avoiding having to cut any wasteful spending programs which might upset potential voters and possibly kill the critical political momentum he's built up and will need for a successful 2010 U.S. Senate run. So we're gonna need a second hit. Sorry, California. Your problems pale in comparison. If you live in Florida, please call or write to your representatives today and urge them to beg Washington for more money, so it can be allocated specifically to local law enforcement or given to someone's buddy in a series of convoluted backdoor deals. Either way, we must act. If we do nothing, our children and our children's children-- even our children's children's children--will grow up in a world where no one... what was I talking about? Oh yeah. McNuggets. In a world where no one can get McNuggets on demand. Or something.