Sunday, May 11, 2008

Time Wasters, Crutches, And Secession

And I thought the internet was a time waster. There’s nothing like sitting through two days of nothing new that could’ve easily been compressed into one day of nothing new. Damn, I love bureaucracy. And if having to wear dress pants for the two day boring ass seminar wasn’t enough, get this, we also had to wear dress shoes. I know. And, of course, I forgot my trusty Dr. Scholl’s Extra Support Insoles and ended up reaggravating a prior foot condition. No big deal, but then I decided to be a tough guy and ignore it during our Little League game Saturday, and woke up this morning unable to walk. I’m pretty sure something’s sprained. Yes, I sprained my foot by… walking.

All right, enough whining. In case you missed it, South Florida has dreams of seceding from the rest of the state. It’ll never happen, but the first step in finding a solution is identifying the problem, and in this case it’s that South Florida is fucking CRAY-ZEE. It’s always been a sort of unspoken fact of life that Miami-Dade is actually a different country. And after the 2000 presidential election, you could throw Broward and Palm Beach counties in there as well. So in a way it’s good they’re finally being honest. In all other ways though, it’s just dumb.


ChrisEldin said...

BT for President of South Florida!!!

Sarah Laurenson said...

I have dress shoes that I can slip on and off easily, so I can sit there with no shoes on while the boring talk drones on forever.

I'd heard about the N. and S. Florida thing. And your talk about it reminds of how New Orleans is really not part of LA. Er, at least it used to be that way. Hard to say what it is now.

I think you have the right idea, Chris. I'll vote for ya, BT. I'm sure I'd have no problem casting a vote or two from CA. It's getting them to count that's quesitonable.

Robin S. said...

Well, I'm glad you're back. I kept coming back here like a lost soul.
It was pitiful, really.

I have relatives in Florida - they're in Orlando, Boca Raton and Coca Beach. Been in Miami a few times. Wild place, except for Key Biscayne. That was pretty.

I enjoyed driving down (just barely) into the Keys.

Secession, huh? Maybe you guys outta let 'em. I heard Miami is gonnna be underwater (literally) in a few decades, anyway. Don't know if it's accurate.
Chekc out this chart (a very reputable firm produced this- most major reinsurance companies use them for forecasting and risk assessment planning):

Anyway- sorry your feet are killing you, but glad you're back!

PS- Your Miss Snark/Evil duo thing was a riot.

pjd said...

Welcome back. And now I get to one-up you two times in one comment.

My conference, which is in Baltimore, has a dress-up function. Yes, suit. I won't be wearing a tie, though. Partly because I don't want to. Partly because I forgot to bring one. Anyway, I figured, why travel 3000 miles and bring both dress-up clothes and business casual? So I get to dress up like my dad for four days in a row and play businessman.

My other one-up is that before I flew to Orlando last week, I think I broke the little toe on my left foot. Or rather, an overeager soccer player did, by stepping on it. I made the foolish mistake of bringing my dress shoes without actually seeing if I can walk in them with a broken toe.

So this might be a very fun week.

But at least it's rainy and 55 degrees in Baltimore. Not sunny and 90 like Orlando was last week.

I hope your ankle gets better soon.

Robin S. said...

Hey Pete,

I can't BELIEVE you were comin' to Baltimore and you didn't say hi.

Chris lives close - when she's not in Dubai, that is - and I'm in DC.

Boy. Sheesh.

blogless troll said...

Haha Chris! Preferably dictator.

Haha Sarah! Preferably dictator. Never heard that about NO. But nothing would surprise me in Louisiana.

Robin, couldn't get that link to work. I don't think the whole thing got posted. But I don't think they'll be underwater. Out of water, definitely. In probably less than 10 years.

Pete, all right you two upped me. But rainy and 55? Dude, are you mad? I'll take 95 and humid. Once the rainy season kicks in the afternoon monsoons cool everything down and make for beautiful evenings.

pjd said...

Beautiful evenings, listening to the serenade of six-inch cockroaches making love in the grass? Actually, I was saying a rainy 55-degree Balmo is much worse than the 90 degree Florida sunshine. Either way, my company's payin', so it ain't all bad.

Anyway... Robin: I didn't know you were in DC. I actually did let Chris know since she mumbled "balmore" at one point in the distant past, but she's in Dubai and I thought you lived at an undisclosed location. I'm in Balmo all this week for a conference. No car, though. If you got nothing to do, I could break away for a cuppa at some point. [forms hand into the shape of a banana and puts up to ear indicating "call me"]

best way to reach me while I'm on the road: dudleypj at gmail you know the rest.

blogless troll said...

My bad, Pete. It's late. Or maybe I was lost in a semi-conscious nirvana-like trance brought on by the serene roach fucking melody.

ChrisEldin said...

Yay Bal'more!!

Will be back in a month.
Out of this putrid desert. I don't really know the true temperature here, since the reports are always under-reported. Why? I thought you'd ask. Because once it's above a certain temperature, they can't make the Indian slaves work outside.