1. This story raises all kinds of questions. The main one, which isn't even addressed, is: Just how many elderly people are there on crack?
2. You may have heard about the Yankee Stadium hex, a ridiculous story being played up to persuade people to think about baseball in ways unrelated to steroids. Or the Mitchell Report. Or the rug under which the Mitchell Report's been swept. Or the players named in the Mitchell Report who just received full immunity. Which is fine with me. Really. Because baseball is the national pastime. And no player should be punished for trying to improve the national pastime. Except Barry Bonds. Because he's not media friendly. Which means he's an asshole. So they should nail his ass to the wall. But not everybody else. Because everybody else didn't really mean it. Plus, they smile for the camera. And answer all the idiotic questions. The ones Barry Bonds won't. Because he's an asshole. I used to love Major League Baseball. (Free Barry.)
Not to worry Yankee fans, your beloved new pleasure palace is now completely safe and hex-free, because insanity sells. By the way, all this makes me want to punch the Yankees in the face even more.
3. I just threw this one in here because it'll make you vomit. But it's got a happy ending. Very soon this guy will find a woman who loves him for who he is, warts and all. (Okay, sorry. That was cheap and mediocre and way too easy, I know. But how could I not?)