Friday, March 21, 2008

Lunatics In The News

1. What do you do with a 150 year-old building that used to house abject human anguish and the cruelest medical techniques ever employed? You turn it into a roadside attraction. Obviously, they went with the “historical” name just so this article would be written and attract attention. Brilliant marketing strategy.

Check out the photos from the official website. This building really is beautiful. In fact, if the Psycho Path races and Hospital of Horrors haunting tours don’t pan out, they could always turn it into the Governor’s mansion, or even a college campus. They wouldn’t even have to change the name.

2. And remember when Spring Break used to be about getting shit faced and trying to get laid? Kids today, I tell ya... But I couldn’t help wondering, if these idiots were from the Middle East instead of the Midwest, would they be terrorists?

3. Wow! A group of big time movers and shakers get together on a private Caribbean island to brainstorm strategies for saving the planet, and a reporter just happens to be there to write a puff piece? What luck! The real reason they’re there is revealed in the last two paragraphs on page two. Hey, the elite like Spring Break too.

By the way, I think it’s awesome that Branson makes ‘em all wear life preservers on land. Now that’s power.

9 comments:

Robin S. said...

Damn. You're so right.

Why would you screw around with dynamite on spring break in Daytona, when there all those almost naked girls out there, ready to, um, screw around?

What a waste of a week away form home with all those hormones squooshing around inside you.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Must be serious computer geeks playing with dangerous toys.

"Let's get wasted and blow up the hotel."

"That's so sick. I'm in."

It's sad that kids these days (and these aren't really kids anymore) have no idea about geting punished for doing bad things. Spanking may seem cruel, but...

pjd said...

What I want to know (about the third item) is why Blair and not Gore? I mean, they have Google and Wikipedia there. Shouldn't they have invited the man who invented the Internet? And... and... and... how do I get invited to that party?

Sarah: spanking is cruel. What these kids need is what they're going to get: a huge fine their parents will have to pay, and 90 days in the hoosegow. I hope. Probably some court-ordered counseling and community service, too.

BT, when I read #1 (before going to the link), it brought to mind the movie "Rat Race" with the Barbie Museum. Klaus Barbie.

blogless_troll said...

I'm pretty sure they're felons now, or will be soon.

They could've also walked the extra 50 yards to the beach, built an elaborate sand castle, then filmed blowing that up, and stuck it on YouTube. They would've been internet gods. Plus, spring break girls are attracted to video cameras.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Hmmm. BT. Speaking from experience about that video camera?

I think the asylum should be a B&B.

And Peter, yes, spanking can be cruel. What seems to be missing with kids these days is reasonable, firm limits. It's too bad anyone can have kids. Should be required to get certified first.

blogless_troll said...

What seems to be missing with kids these days is reasonable, firm limits.

Exactly.

Robin S. said...

I agree with the limits thing.

And, speaking as a former terror of a teenager (bet you had no idea, right?)with nutsy strict parents - you gotta walk a fine line with the rules, and they'd better make sense, but you'd better have them.

There's no way in hell I'd have ever done anything that I thought might force me into a front and center position with my father - where I'd have to explain all about, for instance, just why I thought dynamiting someone else's personal fucking property, and endangeirng lives, would in any way be a good idea.

Now, I'm not saying I'm for violence with children. Or guilt seeding. But you have to come up with something to make sure the little animals know the deal - that they are not all that important to anyone other than family and close friends - and what they fucking feel like doing matters, frankly, not at all, in the big human picture.

It doesn't have to come out of a parent's mouth that bluntly, but it has to come out, somehow, that shockingly, other people are important, too. It's a hard pill to swallow. Too damn bad.

blogless_troll said...

That's a great point Robin. I see so many people, not just teenagers, who think their entire life is a movie that everybody is watching and they're the big friggin star. It's sad when kids don't get taught that lesson because it seems a lot of em never learn it as adults either.

ChristineEldin said...

The photos of the hospital building are beautiful. I've never seen a building like it. It almost feels scary...