Monday, March 17, 2008

The Troll's Guide To Madness, Part 5

SOUTH

First Round

No matter how many basketball games you’ve watched throughout the season, no matter how closely you’ve paid attention recently, no matter how much of a college basketball expert your are, inevitably you will be blindsided by an unexpected upset in the first round. And, also inevitably, someone in your March Madness office pool, who knows nothing about basketball, will have picked this upset correctly, and the reason she picked correctly, the reason she picked the underdog was because she thought the school’s colors were pretty. No college basketball loving expert will tell you this, but in order to prevent this phenomenon from invading your bracket and derailing your chance at victory, it’s always wise to choose at least one first round upset based solely on the Pretty School Color (PSC) criteria.

This year’s South region provides such an opportunity in the #10 Saint Mary’s vs #7 Miami game. Now, St. Mary’s sports your basic red, white, and blue color scheme, which is patriotic enough in its own right, but what makes this pick even easier is the Miami Hurricane freakish orange and green cornea polluting ensemble. Look, I like green, and I have nothing against orange. They’re both perfectly fine colors. However, the combination of the two sets off in me a Bruce Banner-like rage that I cannot fully explain. Plus, ‘Canes fans are assholes. So it’s St. Mary’s with the first round upset.

The other upset in the South region’s first round is #12 Temple over #5 Michigan State. Temple is another one of those Atlantic 10 Conference teams with a nonchalant indifference toward math, so while everyone else may know they’re a #12 seed, they think they’re a #8, and playing like a #8 seed is all it will take to beat the Spartans.

#9 Oregon vs #8 Mississippi State

Vizzini Analysis predicts Oregon will prevail.

Second Round

By the numbers.

Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight

The big question here is whether or not Memphis can finally break into the big time and make it to the Final Four. They’re 33-1, a few free throws and untimely errors away from a perfect season. Sure, they’re in the mediocre Conference USA, but they have freshman phenom Derrick Rose and a highly talented supporting cast. They beat USC, Georgetown, Arizona, and UConn during the regular season. Can they beat Texas less than two weeks from now? No. They can’t. In fact, they might even lose to Pitt, but I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt on that one.

7 comments:

Ello said...

My only upset here is that you used the pronoun "she"!!! You know, not all "she's" pick their teams by colors!
Sheesh!
So I've gotta go with Michigan State even though they have that Christmas fellow, and Mississippi State cause Oregon shouldn't have even made the tourny! I have to go with Texas also, too huge an advantage playing in Houston.

blogless_troll said...

I didn't say alllll shes. Just one. Besides, a he would never admit to picking a team based on school colors, even though many hes do.

Ello said...

That's right! Cause colors are just that reliable. The safer way is to close your eyes, circle your finger and point method.

Robin S. said...

Actually, I have to confess. I'm a color picker. Sorry, el!

pjd said...

Maybe I should rely on the color method. I have seen a total of 45 minutes of college basketball this season, and I haven't paid all that much attention in the past, so I mostly go on what I remember from more than a decade years ago. Something about some Michigan guy calling timeout or something.

Miami does have atrocious colors, it's true. But try watching an Oregon v Oregon State football game some year. When OSU is wearing their all blacks and Oregon has their... mustard-covered green salad uniforms, it's a real eyeball twister.

Robin S. said...

Oh, I'm so nervous about picking this stuff.

Thanks for the lessons, BT!

I think I'm gonna do a mix of BT ideas, colors, and states. Yeah, that should work really well for me.

I got the email from Yahoo thingie -telling me to pick. Sooooo, I'm gonna read your posts, and go from there.

McKoala said...

Oh my. Even more confused. I'll stick with the Failsafe System.